At what age does my child get to decide which parent he/she lives with?


​The short answer is they don’t!
 
This is because, unfortunately, minors have very few legal rights and deciding one’s own custody is never one of them; only the judge gets to decide custody.  However, a child’s meaningful preference is one of nine “best interest” factors which the judge can consider in deciding physical custody.
 
When is a child old enough for their preference to be considered meaningful?  Again, there is no specific age at which a “preference” is considered to be “meaningful”; it depends on the child’s level of maturity at the time the preference is expressed.  A 14 year old’s preference to live with Mom because she “has no rules” is unlikely to be considered at all, while a 12 year old’s mature, reasoned preference will likely be given weight.
 
As one judge put it:  “A relatively mature teenager’s reasoned preference is not so lightly disregarded.”  Be careful, however, because a teenager’s preference is not reliable if it is “manipulated or unduly influenced by a parent.”

For Questions on Child Custody Issues Call 907-334-4320